Dumbest Ad Placement Ever

SIR - I have no idea what your marketing department is doing. Why is one of the world's most respected and smartest publications spending ad dollars on one of the world's least respected and dumbest sites?



YFBFB

David Stern's Off-Season To-Do List

Well, the season is over. The Spurs ruined King James' ascension to the throne, at least I think they did, apparently only 10 people saw this happen. The draft went mostly as expected with Grandpa Oden giving hope to Blazers fans for a championship in 2015 and Durant going to Seattle where Sonics fans will get all hopped up on espresso just in time to watch their team get into the lottery again and move to Oklahoma. And only Knicks fans could be jumping for joy by acquiring a player who is best known for punching out a teammate and having sexual assault charges filed against him. So now, it's the off-season, time for the capo di tutti capi to step back and take a look at how best to move forward. Lucky for him, even though he keeps refusing to give me a job, I'm going to handle his to-do list. David, if you're listening, you know how to reach me (the email link).

1. Ban Nate Robinson - Let's run down Nate's career accomplishments. Ruin two dunk contests? Check. Start a bench clearing brawl? Check. Do I need to do anything else to make my case here? This guy is worthless, ship him to China where he can dominate in the low post and leave me the hell alone.

2. Trade KG (to the Lakers) - KG has gots to go. It is ridiculously unfair to KG, Minny fans, and NBA fans the world over that one of the league's brightest stars that exudes everything the league wants to promote (teamwork, loyalty, personality, reverence for the greats, skills, heart, no off court troubles, etc) is trapped in the vortex of the McHale Management System. Stern has evoked the 'best interests of the league' authority before, he needs to do so now. KG needs to be moved, and he needs to be moved to somewhere that we, as fans, want to watch him. Phoenix? Ok, but it's not that different than having Amare there now. LA is the answer. Bigger than the draft, bigger than the finals, bigger than KG, Kobe has been the biggest NBA story since LeBron dropped his 48 special on Detroit. The Lakers are the big show in the NBA (deal with it, Knicks fans), and if Kobe is gone, the Lakers are the new Clippers. Which makes the current Clippers something to be determined later. Kobe + KG? That is something that not only NBA die-hards would want to watch, but it would bring casual fans back into the mix. Make it happen.

3. Promote the draft - Is there a draft in sports that has a bigger immediate impact on a team's future than the NBA's? I don't think so. Is there a draft in sports that has anywhere near the potential for unintentional comedy in the form of insane outfits or interviews in horribly bad English? I don't think so. With only a 5 minute interval between 1st round picks, names you know if you're a fan, the fact that these guys will make a difference next season, and a packed house of angry Knicks fans, the NBA draft has become must-see TV. It needs to be promoted as such. Move that puppy to Friday night, where losers like me that obsess over the NBA will be available to watch it. Now if you really want to spice it up, what you do is hold the lottery at the beginning, give the teams 1 hour to get their ducks in a row and let us watch some GMs make panic deals, and have at it. They can do their scouting and work-outs in advance, but nobody in the lottery will know where they are picking until that night. And give us unedited access into the war rooms for that hour. 20 execs chain smoking and cursing as they feverishly make decisions that will make or break their careers? That's entertainment. Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, but the draft is too good to not push.

4. EBA - Unlike the NFL which just folded up the tent on it's European league, the NBA can thrive there. We've already got an influx of modern Eurobred stars in the likes on Nowitzki, Gasol, and Parker, and we have the NBDL. So why not open up 12 teams across the pond and put FIBA and it's worthless trapezoid out of it's misery. Basketball has already proven to be a viable commodity in Europe, and with the right marketing, it could take the place of soccer in the hearts of the Euro youth. Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking, "Soccer has been the #1 sport over there since time began. That will never change." Well, you're wrong. Remember, only 30 years ago our 'national pastime' was baseball. Now it's football. Go to any high-school in America and ask the kids who their favorite athlete is, I bet you it's not a baseball player. The skill-set is so similar to soccer, but in basketball there is actual scoring. You know, putting the ball in the net. And I don't care what you say, there is not a goal in soccer that can do for me what someone throwing down a vicious dunk on a 7 footer does. Global TV and the internet now allows anyone anywhere to watch Kobe drop 80 points, and it's hard not to love that. The Euro kids may have loved soccer for generations, but now they can watch D. Wade in real-time, or at least on demand the next day. It's not that hard of a sell. Ship the NBDL players over, sign some big Euro names, and have at it.

5. Fix the dunk contest - Luckily, if step one is followed and Nate Robinson is out of the league, we're halfway there. The dunk contest used to be one of the greatest spectacles in all of sports. No one that watched Jordan vs 'Nique was ever the same. Nike is a household name because of it. Spud Webb gave every short kid hope. Vince Carter reminded us why we love it. Now, yawn. So here's how we fix it. Get the shoe companies to include it in star player's contracts. Why doesn't Nike require Kobe and LeBron to show up for this? Give a real prize. NBA players don't care about $10k or $50k, so pony up $100k to get them interested. Make it work as follows. 8 guys, 3 chances to make a dunk (sorry, Nate). First and second rounds you get 2 dunks, highest cumulative scores advance. Final round you get one dunk, so you better bring it. Oh, and make sure to invite this guy.

6. T for Flopping - I love the globalised NBA. Not sure who it was, but when Cleveland won the East, one of the ESPN guys said "where else could you see a black inner city kid from Ohio jumping into the arms of a 7 ft white Lithuanian?" I think that's a beautiful thing. I love Varejao's hair, Manu's recklessness, Dikembe's finger-wave, Dirk's fixation on the Hoff, and everything else. But you know what I can't stand? The flopping. Maybe it's called 'gamesmanship' on the soccer pitch around the world, but on American playgrounds it's called "being a punk bitch" and it needs to stop. I'm tired of watching an offensive player try and make a move to the basket, only to have a whistle blown because someone with a last name I can't spell took a dive like an extra in a Jet Li movie. It may be hard to officiate properly, but NBA refs need to start callings Ts for flopping. Although this will put the Vlade Divac Camp for Kids out of business, it will improve the game. After a 1/2 season or so of fouling out on a regular, Manu will learn the difference between true man to man defense and hopping in front of a guy and acting like he got sucker punched on contact.

7. Stop the Ticky-Tack - Right next to the flopping, I'm tired of the ticky-tack calls that do nothing other than disrupt the flow of the game. Nobody wants to watch NBA players shooting free throws, unless it's Shaq and then it's just for shock value. 24 second violation but the other team has the ball? No whistle. Offensive player lunges into the defender to draw the foul without making a legitimate effort to get off a good shot? No whistle. 2 guys battling it out down low clean and hard? No whistle. Just let these guys do what they do best, play basketball.

8. Ban the Jump-Step - I'm looking at you, Mr. Iverson. The jump step is not one step, it is a jump. You jump up and come down with the ball, that's a travel. Plain and simple.

9. Stop the Music - Did you watch those Golden State games this year? Ever watched a game on ESPN classic from before 1990? Did you say to yourself or whomever you were watching with "Wow, the crowd is so loud. How come NBA crowds aren't like that anymore?" It's because of the music. Once the owners finally learned that the NBA was a 'hip-hop' league, they got the idea that we all need the newest 50 cent song blaring over the speakers during the game. Well, we don't. Side note- I love hip-hop, this is not a musical preference thing or a race issue so don't take it as such. Outside of a little "De-Fense! De-Fense!", once the game is on, the speakers should be off. Trust me, the game becomes so much more enjoyable. You hear the coaches, you hear the players reacting to what's happening, and you get trash talk. Yummy yummy trash talk. And when it's really good, you hear none of that because the fans are screaming so loud you can't even hear your own shouts. It also makes the fans more knowledgeable about the game itself, which in turns creates a greater love for the sport. Watch old games in the Boston Garden and listen for when the fans react and what they react to; they knew their basketball. Today's fans don't, unless they're in Golden State.

10. Flexible TV Scheduling - We all know that sports money is made on TV, not the ticket gate. The NFL did a great job of implementing flexible scheduling this past year, and the NBA needs to follow suit. Why should I watch a late season game between Washington and Cleveland when Arenas and Butler are injured, the Cavs are set in their place, but there are 2 spots up for grabs in the West that night? Give us the games we want to watch, and don't make decisions in August for what I'll be watching in February. Hell, use the internet. A week before the games are to be played, open up fan voting and let us decide what games should be televised. It might, I don't know, increase ratings.


Check ball, Stern. YFBFB

List of Every Opening Line From "The Wire" - Seasons 1 Through 4

I can not take credit for this, but I was searching the interwebs for the list and found it posted on a Wire discussion thread. Full credit must be given to user of laylagalise who posted this in this thread over at TV Without Pity. Much respect.



"When it's not your turn." - McNulty
“You cannot lose if you do not play." - Marla Daniels
"The King stays the King." - D'Angelo
"It's a thin line 'tween heaven and here." - Bubbles
“... a little slow, a little late." - Avon Barksdale
"... and all the pieces matter" - Freamon
"A man must have a code." - Bunk
"Come at the king, you best not miss." - Omar
"Maybe we won." - Herc
"And then he dropped the bracelets..." - Greggs
"Dope on the damn table." - Daniel
"This is me, yo, right here." - Wallace
"All in the game." - Traditional West Baltimore
"They used to make steel there, no?" - Vondas
"They can chew you up but they gotta spit you back out." - McNulty
"What they need is a union." - Russell
"If I hear music, I'm gonna dance." - Greggs
"They used to make steel there, no?" - Vondas
"It don't matter that some fool say he different..." - D'Angelo
"Don't worry kid, y'er still on the clock." - Horseface
“How come they don't fly away?" - Ziggy
"The world is a smaller place now." - The Greek
"It pays to go with the union card everytime." - Ziggy
"I need to get clean." - Sobotka
"Business. Always business." - The Greek
"Don't matter how many times you get burnt, you just keep doin' the same." - Bodie
"There's never been a paper bag." - Colvin
"The gods will not save you." - Burrell
"Why you got to go and fuck with the program?" - Fruit
"I had such fuckin' hopes for us." - McNulty
"Just a gangster, I suppose." - Avon Barksdale
"Conscience do cost." - Butchie
"Pretty don't even come close to the problem." - The Deacon
“...while you're waiting for moments that never come." - Freamon
"Call it a crisis of leadership." - Proposition Joe
"We don't need to dream no more." - Stringer Bell
"...we fight on the lie." - Slim Charles
"Lambs to the slaughter here." - Marcia Donnelly
"I still wake up white in a city that ain't." - Carcetti
"Love the first day, man. Everybody all friendly an' shit." -- Namond Brice
“No one wins. One side just loses more slowly." -- Prez
"If you with us, you with us." - Chris Partlow
"Don't try this s**t at home." - Norman Wilson
"Aw yeah. That golden rule." - The Bunk
"We got our thing, but it's just part of the big thing." -Zenobia
"Might as well dump 'em, get another." - Proposition Joe
"The world goin' one way, people another." - Poot
"You play in dirt, you get dirty." --McNulty
"That all there is to it?" -- Bubbles
"If animal trapped call 410-844-6286" -- Baltimore, traditional

BREAKING- Stop using BREAKING in Your digg Headlines

Seriously diggers, this is getting really annoying. I'm not going to go through and list all the reasons why because we all know them already. Just stop. Please.

Here's a quick search for "breaking" in the last 7 days. There's over 10 freaking pages worth. Isn't enough enough?

YFBFB

10 Lessons That Cost Me $10 Million

This week marks the one year anniversary of a website I created with a former friend and colleague. Normally, this would be a reason to celebrate, drink some champagne, and toast our efforts. However, the site is a total failure and I have not had anything to do with it in many months now. So what happened? How did a great idea turn into a waste of cyberspace? How did I wake up one morning to find myself locked out of a site that was my idea and creation? And most importantly, how did a competitor that came along after us wind up with $10,000,000 in VC cash while I got an inflated credit card bill? Well, I'll spare you the story itself, but share with you 10 tips and lessons that I didn't follow so any other entrepreneurs out there don't lose the million$ their ideas deserve.

1. Get it in writing (and make copies) - Ok, ok, I know that's the first and oldest rule of business and shouldn't be a surprise to anyone. But it's also a rule frequently overlooked by many, especially in a scenario when they start a business with friends. We never bothered signing an operating agreement that stipulated the 50/50 split we had both agreed to. So when I wake up one morning to find all the passwords changed, my access to any of our site's accounts blocked, and ownership of the site transferred to another company's name, what am I to do? Call my lawyer who says I wouldn't have a problem proving my claim in court, but without an operating agreement signed, we can't force any action without going to court. Considering what the site was worth at the time and the time, energy, and expense involved with going to court would involve, it simply wasn't worth it. And had I got a copy of the signed agreement with our software provider the day it was signed, I would have learned lesson #4 weeks in advance.

2. Listen to those you respect - I got into this business with a friend and former colleague. I spoke with several people that knew us both and heard the same message over and over; "You know he's not going to do shit", "He can't close", "He's a lazy s.o.b." etc. This was from people I knew and respected, and I blew them off. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

3. Effort is more important than excellence - I can tolerate work that isn't perfect. I can tolerate personalities that don't necessarily mesh with mine. I can tolerate opposing viewpoints, opinions, and personal habits that I find disgusting (even when they are taking place in my apartment which was serving as a de facto office). What I can't tolerate is lack of effort. When you are starting a company from scratch with virtually no revenue and very little cash on hand, you need to hustle. You need gym rats. You need to be busting your ass from the second you wake up until the second you go to sleep. There is no excuse for lack of effort when you are trying to build a dream.

4. The 1st lie about money is the last one - You want to lie to me about how hot that girl at the bar who you went home with was? Fine. You want to lie to me about your golf score? Fine. You want to lie to me about cash, we got issues. I should have known when he was out at bars pretty much every night until 4am but couldn't come up with a dime for state incorporation fees. I should have thrown his ass out right then. Well, one morning our software provider calls us and says we owe him a payment for the next month. I tell him we paid 6 months up front. He says no. I question my partner and he denies it. When asked for a credit card statement, all of a sudden can't find his credit card. This is unacceptable, and I sent him packing at this point. But I should have seen it coming.

5. No, you don't need to take a meeting or have another conference call - I hate meetings. I hate conference calls. But I understand they are a necessary evil of the business world. However, some people would rather spend their time talking with anyone and everyone that will talk to them than actually carrying out the things they talk about in the meeting. Some people would rather pretend to be a CEO than take the necessary steps to become one. Be the latter.

6. What your customer wants is more important than what you want - When we introduced video to our site, we had a pretty heated debate. He wanted to launch with Elvis doing a Christmas song, I wanted the Beatles doing "Revolution." Considering we were targeting the baby boomers, I think my choice was clearly the way to go. But he was determined to use the Elvis video. Why? He was an Elvis fan. It had nothing to do with our target market, it had to do with his love for Presley. My blog posts included other useful sites for boomers, free ice cream from Ben and Jerry's, and special holiday notices. He copied other people's blogs on collective wisdom and social networking websites. Why? He was more concerned with publicizing his interests than serving the needs of our audience. Me? I think people like free ice cream.

7. The numbers don't lie - When doing our initial marketing we had two different theories on how to go about it. One was a direct email campaign to members on sites that were similar to ours but not designed specifically for our target market. The other was using a web crawler to collect email addresses and then blasting an email newsletter. We had agreed to try both separately for a bit, look at the results using our Google analytics program and then decide how to proceed. Needless to say, sending direct messages to people that were already using a similar service was far more effective than engaging in what amounted to a spam campaign. My partner did not care. The spam campaign took less time and effort, results be damned. Well, the numbers never lie and like most everything else in life, the results you get are a direct effect of the effort you put in. Here we are a year later and after my idea got us an initial rush of members, the site has taken an additional 9 months just to triple what we accomplished in the first month.

8. Market to the market you sell to, not the market you want to be in - We printed up a bunch of fliers and took to the streets on a busy weekend in town. Lots of tourists from all over the world in for a food and wine festival, many in our direct market. After canvassing different areas for a bit we meet up and I ask him how he did. He explains to me how he spoke to a bunch of cute girls and told them to tell their parents about the site. How many of them do you think signed up?

9. Continuously talking about what you'll do when you're rich will ensure you're always poor - When you're spending your time talking about how much money it would take you to sell out, what you want to buy when you're a millionaire, how you want the office decorated, how we can write off buying a yacht if we use it to entertain clients, do you know what you're not doing? Working. You're not improving your product, spreading your message, or selling your product if you're daydreaming about being an instant millionaire. Entrepreneurs have that desire to make something for themselves and we all want to build that business that will make us wealthy, but nobody ever got rich by talking about it. You need to do it, plain and simple. When you're thinking about all the neat toys you want to buy, you're wasting your time. And when you're an unknown company operating on a shoestring, time is the only resource you have.

10. Don't do business with people that have a coke habit - As Rick James said, "Cocaine is a hell of a drug."

So there you have it, 10 free lessons that cost me $10 million to learn. But they're free for you, just throw me a bone when you strike it rich.

YFBFB

The Best 2 Iverson Trades Nobody Is Talking About

He's the NBA's #2 leading scorer. He's got more All-Star votes than anyone other guard in the Eastern Conference. He's one of the few guys in the league that you can trust with the ball in crunchtime. And he's on the block.

It's looking more and more like a Denver deal is the way it's going down, and everybody has discussed the potential deals in Minny, Indy, Boston, etc. But I have yet to hear anything about 2 potential deals that should be on the table right now. And considering one involves The Logo himself, I wouldn't be surprised if they are in play behind the scenes.

First, I'm setting the ground rules. Billy King is screwed. He painted himself into a corner on this one, and much like every other attempt in sporting history to trade a future Hall of Famer playing some great ball, he's going to get bent over. There are no bonafide All-Stars coming to Philly. And both trades work out fine on ESPN's trade machine. That said, here they are;

1. Orlando - Even though he's on pace for his best season in recent memory, Grant Hill's whopper of a contract is expiring. Orlando may be on top if the East right now, but if you think anyone is winning the NBA finals starting Jameer Nelson at PG, I'd like to join your fantasy league. So trade Ken Griffey Jr, I mean Hill, Nelson, and a draft pick for AI. Maybe even toss in JJ, as Allen will take of the shots that would be left for him anyways. Philly gets cap space, a pick, and a serviceable PG. Orlando gets it's best shot at a title since the days of Shaq Daddy. Fans get to watch AI/Howard become the new school Stockton/Malone.

2. Memphis- I know there are issues with the potential ownership changes, but why is there no noise out of Bluesville? Considering the guy who once pulled off a deal where he got Kobe Bryant for a chain smoking European is at the helm, why is the Logo not throwing his hat in the ring? I have to imagine that somewhere, right now, Jerry West is trying to pull a rabbit out of his hat. And he gets it done by sending (what have you done for me lately) Eddie Jones and his contract plus Rudy Gay to Philly. In effect, this would mean Mr. West swapped Shane Battier and Eddie Jones for Stro Swift and AI. He is the master. Philly would get $$$ off the books and a young talent in Rudy. Hell, the Griz could even throw in a draft pick to get it done. You're trading for AI to win now, so the draft pick becomes a moot point. Pau + Al = Pretty damn near unstoppable.

Both these trades make sense from both sides, but we are hearing nothing from either of these teams. Orlando is just plain stupid if they're not trying to dump Hill, and if there is one exec in the NBA you never want to underestimate, it's Jerry West. Billy King may say he's ready to wait it out now to try and increase the stakes, but you, I, and the rest of the league knows he's screwed. So trade away. And when AI is wearing a Grizzlies uniform in Vegas, just remember you heard it here first.

YFBFB

Test

Test, I'll get to the blogging later.